Living in Germany, we have become accustomed to paying more for water than we do for beer. This is terrible for me for the following reasons: first and foremost, I am usually the designated driver. (You would think that my bastard friends would buy my cola for the rest of the night! Sheesh). Secondly, I need to have a thirst quencher at dinner that I can gulp in case I choke on my food, and beer is not the beverage of choice. “Oh, how does she know?” you may ask…I have learned this from personal experience – the result was no bueno! And finally, I am very particular about the beers I select to booze myself up with. I love Heineken (when in Amsterdam), Kilkenny (unfortunately, I only find them at Irish pubs) and I yearn for Duvel. My admiration for this beer could be because Duvel means “Devil” in Dutch.
While visiting the Welde Brewery in Schwetzingen, I was informed that my favorite designated driver malt based alcohol-free beverage (similar to beer) has been retired. Welde’s Fassbrause is not just a beverage to me. We have a relationship; we have shared happy and sad moments, it has been my companion through thick and thin, it has been the only thing that makes sense when no one intoxicated around me does. Fassbrause is so special to me, that if this were Middle Earth and Fassbrause were an ingredient for a magical elixir it would be called “Unicorn Pee”.
When it was mentioned that it had been retired, I picked up the six they had in front of me and immediately requested to purchase every bottle that they had at hand in the brewery. My throat was filled with greed, not wanting anyone else to be able to purchase any, especially if they are the last ones. When I said this to the young man he said, “Buy? We will give them to you for free”. At this point, I think, “Awesome. I have hit the jackpot!” . Within a few minutes of waiting, my imagination had gotten the best of me. I envision the young man telling me he has 20 cases to gift me. If this is so, I would need to drive my husband and our friends to the train station to take a two hour train home, just to make room for my sweet Fassbrause. The conundrum: this time Jaime and my friends probably would divorce me. Soon after the young man returns and says, “I’m sorry those six bottles are the last ones”.
Fassbrause, I will miss you dearly my friend.