I know… I’ve been away. After Fall quarter, I decided I needed a writing break and thought I would pick it up at the beginning of 2016. The holidays are stressful; so much pressure since everyone has such high expectations. I knew the beginning of January was going to be busy (since my Winter quarter started January 4th). This year, like every other year, I have New Years Resolutions, in hopes that it will make me the ideal adult. Here is the kicker: Expectations of resolutions, like the holidays, are too high. There is so much pressure to lose weight; be debt free; buy a home; be nicer…that people get burned out. (You know that if you’re reading this, you agree!). So… in honor of the busy “beginning of the year” gym days (and school starting; my extra subbing and making detailed lists of what I want to accomplish and how I am going to accomplish this…) I decided to wait. Yup… Wait! At first I thought January 15th is the perfect day to start my Resolutions, but due to the Gym still being full; unexpected company and a random foot dilemma, I decided to push back until the 21st. So today it begins: “The List of What Johana Hopes to Accomplish this Year”… Ready?
I’m 31. I don’t know how I got here and most of the time it’s so automatic for me to resent the idea of getting older. I want to drink like I’m 21; smoke like I’m 18; jump and run like I’m five and stay up all night like an infant. It’s time to Adult. My goal is the never ending struggle I have with losing weight. Not because it’s the trendy goal, but because it’s important for my heart, for my knees, for my future un-conceived children but most important because I love clothing! I need to take vitamins, watch what I eat, sleep more.
My best friend Jill says she admires how much I read. I read a lot of: blogs, art books, articles on art and culture, travel articles and text books. I hardly get to read books that I want to read or any books I will grow from. This year I’ve decided to read Bustle’s “20 Classic And Important Books That Will Make You Feel Well-Read, Even If They’re The Only Ones You Read”. Some of these I have already read, but I know there are a few that I have never even touched, that I should have read, like “Moby Dick” “Tale of Two Cities” and “Beloved”… Shame on me.
Clear Shitty Debt
Debt is inevitable. Realistically, like other 30 nothings, I have school loans and car loans, but you know what I mean by shitty debt. Shitty debt: Store cards that give “30 percent off on the first day of use” but then bite you in the ass with a 23.99% APR. WTF was I thinking? I want to pay these suckers off! Instead, I want to have one credit card for Emergencies (and preferably one that will give me miles! I have places I want to see…Amsterdam, Korea, Machu Picchu, India)
I don’t write enough for myself. I write a ton for school, but I never find the time to write on here or short stories or ideas of my own. I need to write more, without constantly being given ideas. I have ideas; maybe they aren’t all panned out, but they could lead to great ideas.
Finally, this is the most important one. All of the above will help me, but I need to stop letting irrelevant people, doormat me. I want to be surround by people who are going to praise me. For the individual I am; for the individual I am striving to be. I don’t need toxicity.
So… here is to a year of No Fucks Given. To a year with better health, more money and more literature & compositions.
What are your goals? Have anything new panned out for 2016? Share it!