Tag Archives: Anniversary

Beautiful Creature

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”-Emily Bronte 

I know it’s been a while. A long while. Honestly, it’s been the worst summer of my life. So terrible that it’s killed my momentum (just as I previously feared). Actually, its been so bad that it almost killed my young spirit. I didn’t have the words to amplify my emotions. As a writer, this is difficult for me to admit. But today is a good day to start…

Tonight was my 11 year wedding anniversary. Yeah… 11. Eleven. I ask myself “How did we get here so quickly?” Jaime, doesn’t know I’m writing this. We spent the morning together. That’s all we got, breakfast and lunch. We spent it talking, laughing and grocery shopping for his food to head back to work in the blazing desert. While I sit here, in my cotton pink Jungle Book pajamas wishing today could be different, I know he is sitting, drenched in sweat, wishing he could be home, eating a mediocre dinner that I would have cooked up; watching Rick and Morty or Adult Swim.

Jaime is this fun imperfect being (his actions at times are caveman-esque) that I can’t seem to capture in writing, most likely because whatever creative concoction I assemble, wouldn’t suffice to describe his rough yet delightful persona. He doesn’t try to be perfect.  He isn’t predicable. He isn’t always nice. He is just himself. But with me, he is magnificent. I’m not stating that he doesn’t have a difficult personality to deal with at times (who doesn’t) or that our personalities do not collide. But we work. We work so well. He is my partner in crime. He soothes me when I’m hurt and provides the truth even when it’s not pretty.

This summer, my mom was very ill. (I’ll write about this in time…) I think about my mom and I remember weeks of intensive care units, thoughts about the Grimm Reaper lurking every corner of the hospital, insurance documents, stress and overall fear. Fear that I would lose one of my biggest supporters; that my family would not be the same if we lost our matriarch and fear that I wasn’t prepared.  Jaime, on the other hand did not falter. He was the most incredible creature in a mist of chaos.  His serenity during this time was admirable, soothing and overall he was exactly what was needed in my family. His patience and caring nature gave me peace when he would watch over my grandmother; that he would keep my teenage brother at ease, but most importantly that he knew what to say or what I needed and what to do when I was falling apart.

These are the reasons he is beautiful. These are the reasons he is loved by me. These actions are what keep us close and I hope that we never part.

Pop, I love you. Happy Anniversary!

Ciao,

Johan

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Us

Tuesday, September 2nd was my wedding anniversary. I had plans of writing about Our special day. Interestingly enough, right before I jumped in my car at the end of my work day to write in the quietness and comfort of my home, I fell in a deep conversation with my friend Josh about people, reality and love. At one point Josh stated, “I don’t like your reality…” and I know he said this because I have a talent for reading people phenomenally well. The truth is the kid doesn’t like when I give him my version of what “The Real World” is like. And in all honesty, it isn’t fair that I give him crude examples of how shitty people can really be. After this convo with Josh (A.K.A. Smelly Cat) I realized that what I had initially thought about writing about my anniversary no longer had validity because all the passion I would have put in my writing was gone. So instead I want to share a small story of the moment I confirmed Jaime is THE ONE. (FYI….FUN FACT ABOUT JOHANA #2: The Kid did not believe in the ideology of THE ONE while growing up.)

Jaime and I took advantage of some time off and went to Barcelona, Spain. While we were there, one morning we were enjoying some fresh fruit, juice, cured ham, and some warm empanadas. As we ate, we raved at how amazing this tiny cup of juice was, we noticed an old homeless man walking around begging for money. As we observed him, we noticed many people ignored him or shooed him away. He finally walked up to us, and asked for money. Jaime responded to him in Spanish and said “I do not have change to give you BRO. But if you would like some fruit, empanadas and juice you are more than welcome to have mine.” (YEAH…Jaime said “BRO”). He stared at Jaime and shrugged his shoulders and said “Gracias“. Jaime gave him his food and although the encounter was brief, it melted my heart. As I stood there, silent and teary eyed, I thought, “I’m so proud that this guy is MY husband”.

I love him. I give him a lot of grief, and he drives me insane, but I love him. I know what you are thinking “Typical… she is about to get extremely fuzzy and loving…” but in all honesty, fuzziness is not my forte. I won’t pretend marriage is not difficult, it has a million wonderful moments, but the reality of marriage is…it is hard work. Of course, I understand that every relationship is different…but they all have their own set of problems. I didn’t want to write about how much we love each other and how wonderful our life has been and how we are just a perfect couple, because we aren’t!.  Sure we laugh, we enjoy each others company, we are best friends, and I truly believe we bring out the best in each other. BUT (it’s a big BUTT too) that doesn’t mean that sometimes we don’t disagree (for example, he likes the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim….What the HELL is that?….That’s not even in LOS ANGELES…UGH…Anyway…moving on), we bicker and at times the arguements are so ridiculous that we question….”Why are we arguing again?”.

Here is the truth…neither one of us is perfect. We are both flawed, but this is what makes our relationship worth it. What I mean is, I know he loves me because he puts up with me when I am stressed out, moody and at times unbearable with my narisictic neuroticism, but Jaime never makes me feel terrible for this…at the end of the day, he makes me feel like I’m perfect.

With all of that said, Jaimito… Thank you for being the best travel partner (Primarily for taking me wherever I wanted to go), Thank you for taking care of me and Morrison (we appreciate it), Thank you for going to Culinary school before we got married (Because YOU really are the best cook i’ve ever encountered and lets face it, we would be roughin’ it up right now because I do not cook as well as you do) and lastly, Thank you for growing up to be the man i’ve always wanted to marry. I fucking love you! 

 

Ciao,

Johana