This was the aftermath on Sunday night after submitting my Capstone. At this point, I was exhausted, worried, and beyond stressed out.
It’s over. The end of my Capstone was just as chaotic as my desk at the end of the night on Sunday. It ‘s hard for me to admit that it’s all over.
I waited a few days to announce anything, in fear that I wasn’t going to pass. Waiting for the grade to post officially, although I have been informed that I passed.
I couldn’t help but wonder, why I felt so many emotions? Is this how I am supposed to feel after an achievement of this magnitude?! The mixed feelings that have accompanied me by finishing this degree: relief, disbelief, remorse, pride, excitement, and fear. The clearest of all is the familiar feeling of being lost. What am I going to do now? Should I intern? Do I get a J-O-B? (I mean, let’s be real, those school loans aren’t going to pay for themselves, right?) Do I create jingles? (I do love commercials) Should I write songs? (Although, I can’t play any instruments.) Should I freelance? Maybe I should write for television?
The possibilities are endless, and the unknown is exciting.
Being able to complete this, wasn’t a mission in solitude. It required a lot of emotional support. Many pep talks, Hundreds of liters of coffee, bowls full of Sabra hummus, hugs, shoulders to cry on, out of state and international calls, threats, and let’s not forget the editing!
I wanted to take a moment to say “Thank you”! For the coffee, the words of encouragement, the threats (yes, threat, not treats), the hugs and the long phone calls. There are too many people to mention! But I know that I have an amazing group of people that support me, support my writing and believe in me. Honestly, I don’t even know how I got to be this lucky.
So, as the final words of my academic career at the University of Denver say:
“I have mentioned before, that like the monsters, myths, and folklore I believe in, I want to be a monster at what I do.”
I hope I’m able to accomplish just that.