Tag Archives: Family

The Crowning Achievement

This was the aftermath on Sunday night after submitting my Capstone. At this point, I was exhausted, worried, and beyond stressed out.

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It’s over. The end of my Capstone was just as chaotic as my desk at the end of the night on Sunday. It ‘s hard for me to admit that it’s all over.

I waited a few days to announce anything, in fear that I wasn’t going to pass. Waiting for the grade to post officially, although I have been informed that I passed.

I couldn’t help but wonder, why I felt so many emotions?  Is this how I am supposed to feel after an achievement of this magnitude?! The mixed feelings that have accompanied me by finishing this degree: relief, disbelief, remorse, pride, excitement, and fear. The clearest of all is the familiar feeling of being lost. What am I going to do now? Should I intern? Do I get a J-O-B? (I mean, let’s be real, those school loans aren’t going to pay for themselves, right?) Do I create jingles? (I do love commercials) Should I write songs? (Although, I can’t play any instruments.) Should I freelance? Maybe I should write for television?

The possibilities are endless, and the unknown is exciting.

Being able to complete this, wasn’t a mission in solitude. It required a lot of emotional support. Many pep talks, Hundreds of liters of coffee, bowls full of Sabra hummus, hugs, shoulders to cry on, out of state and international calls, threats, and let’s not forget the editing!

I wanted to take a moment to say  “Thank you”! For the coffee, the words of encouragement, the threats (yes, threat, not treats), the hugs and the long phone calls. There are too many people to mention! But I know that I have an amazing group of people that support me, support my writing and believe in me. Honestly, I don’t even know how I got to be this lucky.

So, as the final words of my academic career at the University of Denver say:

“I have mentioned before, that like the monsters, myths, and folklore I believe in, I want to be a monster at what I do.”

I hope I’m able to accomplish just that.

Ciao,

Jo

 

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Dia De Los Muertos

Artist: Monika Suska
Artist: Monika Suska

Learning about our culture is essential. As a Salvadorian-American, we don’t get to learn about this in school in America. Most of these teachings are based on what our families teach us. I can say this in all honesty, I know very little about Salvadorian history, but I know even less about El Dia De Los Muertos (The Day of The Dead). Most likely because my family does not celebrate this holiday. This year, I feel different; I feel as though it’s necessary. My beloved deceased family members need it. Not because it’s expected from me as a Latina, but because my soul needs it. Maybe since Judy recently passed but most importantly because my grandfather and I did not have a close relationship. I suppose you can call this a sense of complexed guilt, remorse and even having difficultly recollecting our time together. But at least, I can admit that shamelessly.

The people I will remember on this Dia de los Muertos are those that Jaime and I have loved dearly and profoundly.

Somehow I can’t help but question: Who are we suppose to blame when we aren’t close to those who are living? I blame timing; distance; money but above all…life!

Ciao,

Johana

The End of An Era

LastDayWhen first starting a job, they always give you a set of rules. What to wear, how to speak, how to treat people, and pretty much…what to do. The part they never warn you about…is getting attached. Not just to your job, but to the people you work with.

When watching movies about cops (I know what your thinking…”where is she going with this?”) whenever one cop would say “I’m going to request a transfer…” and their partner was angry, I never understood that until now. (NO…I am not angry.) I had been working with my partner in crime, Airwrecka for a little over 2 years. During this time, she has become family to me. We laugh (a lot), we fight, we help each other and we annoy each other. She calls me a lazy blogger, I turn off her computer screen, she messes my aligned pens up , I pull her mouse…you know…the usual stuff. Last Friday was our last day working together. She got a promotion and I am happy for her. She deserves it, she is by far the most hard working woman I have ever met and had the privilege of working with. I’m sad for the time we will no longer spend together, but extremely happy for her! Yesterday, was my last day. Although, my new colleague and I only worked together for a week, I was sad to leave her as well.

I will not be employed for a hot minute. Most likely until I finish my degree. In all honesty, this makes me nervous. I know that working and completing  a Master’s is more important than working (if I could afford it), but there is this sense of closure I get from leaving my current job. Not only will I miss Airwrecka and the rest of the staff, but I will also miss my other colleagues, Lindsey G, Smelly Cat and Alyssa that are more than just friends to me, but family. I know I will see them again because a) some have family on the west coast, b) they all enjoy traveling and c) Really? I mean, do I really have to say it….they love me!, but although this is not goodbye and more like a “see you later” it really is “The End of An Era”. Which leads me to my next concern…when everything seems to be going well, I am beginning to feel a little lost again.

Ciao!

Johana