Tag Archives: Friendship

Reflection of Friendship

February 14th, 2016-11:07 P.M.-The End of V-Day

Valentine’s Day is over. As I sit in pajamas,  I quietly debate how I’ll tackle the following week. I reflect on the past week, but as for today: I know we have over indulged in sweets, chocolate cookies, reading and cartoons. This is how I know the day is over and well Jaime is asleep. This has given me some time to reflect on my relationships during the last few weeks.

I’ve always related to men. I’ve always considered myself a “Bro”. I like sports, action movies, burgers and wings and I love the laid back environment that comes with befriending men. Maybe it’s because I don’t think I fit in. I don’t think I ever have. Jaime says “It’s because you’re a rebel and women don’t like that.” He likes it, but he is probably right.

My friend Jill and I chat almost everyday. I wonder from time to time if we will ever run out of things to talk about, but this never seems to be the case. Just when I think our conversations can’t get any deeper, I’m wonderfully surprised. The foundation of our friendship isn’t that we have a few things in common. No, Jill and I are friends because we share our dreams and aspirations, our goals and achievements, our fears and insecurities and sometimes we are just plain silly. Friendship isn’t simple. It is complicated. It’s a fucking relationship. You have to work at it; be there for each other, but above all its about acceptance and commitment.

I didn’t have many female friends growing up.  I have two friends from my adolescent era that actively communicate with me. Both are married; one is a mother of two, says “fuck” as much as I do and the other is a pup mom and a lesbian. They’re my friends because they ‘ve always gotten it. They’ve gotten me. And they couldn’t be anymore opposite from each other.

In the last few weeks, I’ve found myself distressed and intricately involved with others interpretation of friendship and what that entails. Friendship doesn’t allow one person to control another; to censor them; to constantly put them down or assume and place blame. Like a relationship, there needs to be trust, balance, love and respect. If these things are lacking, what’s the damn point?

The truth is: I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have time to be playing games with people. And we live in a time when being a catty woman, isn’t cool anymore. But I have also grown tired of explaining,  that to me, friendship isn’t a right, but a privilege. Allowing someone to get to know you, is an honor.

Finally, I can’t close this without stating: We don’t all have to be friends but we have to be civil and respect each other. No?

Ciao

-Johana

 

SO…I have this Friend…

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Photo Credit: ME!!!!!

Danielle.

Danielle and I met August 7th, 2014. “How does she remember?” You may be asking…. Well, I remember because Danielle and I met on the Last Day of My Twenties. It truly was an introduction by chance. If I would have left our friend Pamela’s home 5 minutes earlier I would have missed her, if I hadn’t been stuffing my face with a drunken Dr. Seuss cake in the kitchen, I probably wouldn’t have met her. You get my drift.

 Photos by: Danielle

She has been a huge inspiration on how I view mankind. Although, our time together in Germany as neighbors was very brief, I have to say she is one of the kindest-quirkiest women I have ever met. Danielle, has inspired me to be a better person.Things are not black and white in the world I live in. Being an over thinker makes me immediately think the worse of every situation. With that, at times (to people who do not know me well) I sound like a narcissistic asshole. The truth of the matter is…I am. I only care about my close family members and close friends. Danielle, doesn’t. She cares about everyone…literally everyone. This is most likely why she will be an amazing social worker. Danielle has made me rethink about the way I view humanity. I have always believed that I need to worry about myself and the people I care for. But when strangers are horrible and selfish, I have a hard time understanding why. I’ve realized that I, too, am part of that problem. I mean, let’s get real…I’m not going to be over the top too friendly, but maybe just enough to make a minor impact on society.

This has been a harsh reality to face now coming back to America.  When I lived in Germany, I never understood why so many Germans stated that Americans were rude and obnoxious. Being back home now, I get it. What happened to us?

I hope that one day, I can be as empathic, kind and stylish as Danielle. I hope that I can see both sides of every situation and try to make the best judgement, not based on emotion but based on rationale; I hope to one day be as optimistic as my dear friend Danielle. And I pray that I have the strength to always voice how I feel, even if it won’t be the favorite opinion. In most cases, I usually don’t care enough to even create a thought if it doesn’t pertain to me. (Fun Fact #7: The Kid does not read the News. Only bad shit is ever reported)

Danielle, you have made a bigger impact on me than what you think. I am so grateful to have met you. Thank you for being amazing!

Ciao,

Johana

Word Worthy Week

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 In an effort to be more positive, once a week I will be posting highlights of my week and anything I am grateful for!  

My Pusher

Oh My Pusher…FUCK I love her! She is one of my best friends. She constantly tells me when I am wrong and she fights me to the death!  She corrects my mental state when it is faulting. She states things like “REALLY? You have that many views on your blog? I’m surprised…considering you are the laziest blogger!”. And although, this may sound like an insult, it is not when it is coming from her. She knows what it takes to get Johana to tinker and she understands the complexities that come with being my friend. She knows that I am always in my head and constantly reminds me to stop thinking and just “GET IT DONE!”. Mrs. Field, for this I am eternally grateful. And although at times, it looks like I do not want to hear it and I am not fully content…I want you to know that I am always very thankful in the end. Um…I love you….Bro?…No?…Airwrecka?

Oh Sweet Elizabeth! 

My friend Elizabeth is a strong woman. As a matter of fact what I love about her is she doesn’t put up with bullshit. Elizabeth has such a kind heart, she is so thoughtful that she brought me flowers this week, with every intention to cheer me up.  Thank you Elizabeth for the flowers, it really means a lot to me! I am so grateful to have you as a friend!

The Universal Language 

Living in Germany, I constantly run into the language barrier when trying to have a conversation. Actually, I feel lost all of the time, I talk with my hands in general, but when trying to explain something complex in German…I think…”Screw it…forget it”. In my small village, I have very friendly neighbors. They are so lovely and constantly invite my husband and I over for drinks and snacks. I find myself constantly trying to comprehend what is being said and repeating and asking “what does that mean?”. Since I do not understand they just give me shots of homemade schnapps and I say “OKAY” and end up really liquored up. This week, I had a very different experience. My neighbors have daughter, her name is  Natalie. Natalie is speaks enough English, and I speak very poor German, I could not think of a way to bond with her. I mean, she is half my age, we do not speak the same language and I am a hispanic city kid from Los Angeles…what could her and I possibly have in common? BUT Natalie is a smart kid and as I searched for Wi-Fi on my IPad, she noticed my music list (I like to call it “Joey’s Jukebox”…but whatever). We quickly began singing Beatles/Queen songs, recited lyrics to each other, and watched new artists on YouTube. Music, once again, has shown me that it is universal, no matter where you are from.

Parking Lot Birthday Song

We think birthdays are important. SO, it is no surprise that we love getting together with our friends for their birthdays. We love going out to dinner, ordering a few bottles of wine, smoking hookah, dancing and once we even went to Prague to celebrate (OH MAN…That is a story for another time). Saturday was our friend Joao’s birthday. We spent the evening eating sushi at Haru (Remember, the Sushi restaurant from “Lions and Tigers and Sushi, Oh My day at The Nuremberg Zoo“?) with our friends Joao, Harper, Angela and Willy P. After a late dinner, Joao, Jaime and I went out to smoke hookah and after a few hours of drinking, chatting and smoking we decided to call it a night. On our way home, my husband said “JOAO….WE DIDN’T GET YOU A CAKE!”. SO at 3 AM, we stopped at a Shell gas station to find anything that resembled a pastry. Jaime came back with a donut and sang Happy Birthday to Joao in the Shell parking lot. When Jaime finished Joao took a bite and said “I love you Bro”. Moments like these between Us and our friends make me cherish our friendship even more.

Do you have any highlights to share? Or anything you want to mention that your grateful for? I would love to hear them! 

Ciao!

Johana

El Fotógrafo and the Ayatollah of Rocknrolla

Everytime we take a trip I learn something new. I make it a point to go to a few museums, take a tour, visit a palace or visit a historical location. I have visited several locations that have made me appreciate history, art, music, and even myself. But during our visit to Amsterdam and Paris, I found myself in complete admiration and appreciation for a common human understanding…friendship.  I have never had this happen before.

My husband Jaime (the Ayatollah of Rocknrolla as he calls himself) has one of the most amazing friends that God could have possibly put on this earth for him. Honestly, I am ridiculously jealous of their friendship. Not about how they love each other or the time they spend together (because trust me, it is not enough) but the idea that my husband and Luis have had the honor of being buddies since they were kids; i’m jealous that I love Luis so much that I am jealous I didn’t meet him first and I am not his primary friend; and extremely resentful that it took my husband 9 years to get Luis and I get to know each other better (in turn, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS JAIME).

 

 

The love they have for each other goes beyond a fad bromance. Not only does Luis advise Jaime that he should not play loud music at the Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris (because everyone visiting is not there just for Jim Morrison), but he makes sure to discreetly order water for Jaime when he has had too much of the drink the night before and offers up his salad when he knows that Jaime is still hungry after devouring a regular burger. And my husband, being the loving best friend he is, becomes exhilarted sharing european beers, foods and experiences with Luis and is willing to walk the streets of Amsterdam at the wee hours of the night  to make sure that the rest of our posse make it back to our room safely. Personally, it is very humbling to be near them or listen to them talk to each other, especially because I am a true believer that your friends are the family you get to pick.

What I admire the most of their friendship is that they might as well be as different as day and night. Although, they are both funny and are highly entertaining, my husband is highly eccentric, loud and very young spirited. Luis, on the other hand, is more rational and level headed. One thing they do have in common, is their lack of auditory perception. Jaime and Luis decided to take a short trip to Prague with our other guests before their flight back to California. I had made one small request, they had one job. When they return, they were proud to gift me with a 12 pack of Czech Budweiser. I sat there…puzzled, and they both said “you said you wanted a Budweiser pack”. I quickly respond and say “UM…I said BUDWEISER PLAQUE”.

In Amsterdam, after a few pictures that Luis took I realized that he may see things in a different light than we did. At first, I thought it could possibly be that I had been to Amsterdam plenty of times before and maybe there wasn’t anything new that I wanted to photograph, but when we arrived in Paris and I compared my pictures to his, I thought “Yeah…I suck, I am not a good photographer”. In honor of my new found friendship with Luis (El Fotógrafo), I wanted to give him props (kudos) for discovering a talent while we were gallivanting around Europe. The boy can take amazing pictures! His picture can make a home body immediately wanderlust.

Lastly, I look forward to moving home to see their friendship grow and catch up on all of the years that they have missed out. And who knows, someday I may win the lotto and ElFotógrafo, the Ayatollah of Rocknrolla and our families could move into that 5 story home in Amsterdam that we admired near the Museumplein.

Does your significant other have friends that you love? Or do you have a friendship like this?

What do you think of El Fotógrafo’s pictures? Which one is your favorite?

Ciao,

Johana