February 14th, 2016-11:07 P.M.-The End of V-Day
Valentine’s Day is over. As I sit in pajamas, I quietly debate how I’ll tackle the following week. I reflect on the past week, but as for today: I know we have over indulged in sweets, chocolate cookies, reading and cartoons. This is how I know the day is over and well Jaime is asleep. This has given me some time to reflect on my relationships during the last few weeks.
I’ve always related to men. I’ve always considered myself a “Bro”. I like sports, action movies, burgers and wings and I love the laid back environment that comes with befriending men. Maybe it’s because I don’t think I fit in. I don’t think I ever have. Jaime says “It’s because you’re a rebel and women don’t like that.” He likes it, but he is probably right.
My friend Jill and I chat almost everyday. I wonder from time to time if we will ever run out of things to talk about, but this never seems to be the case. Just when I think our conversations can’t get any deeper, I’m wonderfully surprised. The foundation of our friendship isn’t that we have a few things in common. No, Jill and I are friends because we share our dreams and aspirations, our goals and achievements, our fears and insecurities and sometimes we are just plain silly. Friendship isn’t simple. It is complicated. It’s a fucking relationship. You have to work at it; be there for each other, but above all its about acceptance and commitment.
I didn’t have many female friends growing up. I have two friends from my adolescent era that actively communicate with me. Both are married; one is a mother of two, says “fuck” as much as I do and the other is a pup mom and a lesbian. They’re my friends because they ‘ve always gotten it. They’ve gotten me. And they couldn’t be anymore opposite from each other.
In the last few weeks, I’ve found myself distressed and intricately involved with others interpretation of friendship and what that entails. Friendship doesn’t allow one person to control another; to censor them; to constantly put them down or assume and place blame. Like a relationship, there needs to be trust, balance, love and respect. If these things are lacking, what’s the damn point?
The truth is: I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have time to be playing games with people. And we live in a time when being a catty woman, isn’t cool anymore. But I have also grown tired of explaining, that to me, friendship isn’t a right, but a privilege. Allowing someone to get to know you, is an honor.
Finally, I can’t close this without stating: We don’t all have to be friends but we have to be civil and respect each other. No?